Schadenfreude Love Song

As Homer Simpson once said, “Those Germans have a word for everything.” Today I find myself pondering the word “Schadenfreude,” which does not really have an English counterpart. Schadenfreude (it is always capitalized when used in German) can be defined as the “malicious satisfaction in the misfortunes of others.”

By the way, the transposed variant "Freudenschade" was apparently created to mean sadness one feels at another's success, although there is no such word in German. In America we would just call Freudenschade what Fox news felt collectively when Barack “Hussein” Obama was elected.

The dictionary explains Schadenfreude with a quote from historian Peter Gay, who felt Schadenfreude as a Jewish child in Nazi-era Berlin as he watched the Germans lose coveted gold medals in the 1936 Olympics.  When reflecting on those feelings he experienced as the Germans suffered humiliating losses, Mr. Gay quite correctly and honestly observed that Schadenfreude “can be one of the great joys of life.”

Who can blame Mr. Gay for celebrating in losses suffered by such a vile and ferocious oppressor? The Nazis were really, really mean. As a Jewish child in Nazi Germany, Mr. Gay probably had good reason to wish a painful and drawn-out death on anyone associated with the German regime, so taking pleasure in the government’s embarrassment over simple athletic competition is not only to be expected, but shows a certain amount of restraint.

That being said, if you ask a group of people if they have ever experienced Schadenfreude, I would bet that many of them would deny it. What a petty and ugly emotion to admit to, right? It makes one look small and mean and a little bit unbalanced. And so I come to you now with a confession – a horrible admission about myself that I am writing down only because I know almost nobody reads my blog:

I have Schadenfreude. I have it BIGTIME. If it were a medical condition I would be hospitalized right now and probably being read my last rites.

Oh, they don’t read last rites to atheists? Damn.

Anyway, there is someone in this country who is a very, very VERY bad person. This person (hereinafter referred to as BDL) has spent many years making a fortune off the misfortune of others (new term: Schadenfreconomics).  BDL goes to great lengths to be as malicious, nasty and disagreeable as possible to anyone considered to be on the other side of an issue. BDL is the type of person who sees a fly buzzing around in your house and goes after it with a chainsaw. By the time BDL is done, the fly may be gone and it may not be, but everything in your home is destroyed and needs to be replaced. Unfortunately, you can’t afford to replace these things because BDL charged you $200,000 to trash your Asian-inspired furniture and family photos in the process of going after the fly. You never asked BDL to kill the fly, perhaps you just mentioned it was annoying and you’d like to figure out a way to get it out of the house. Now the place is a mess and you’ve got a big bill to pay.

Note that I wrote “your” home and not BDL’s, because our friend would never do anything contrary to his or her own benefit. BDL’s house is quite large, beautiful, and not at all trashed.

Back to Schadenfreude: it has recently come to light that BDL is going through some very tough times right now. Very serious times, in fact, and if I imagine myself in the same situation, I am overcome with fear and dread and all sorts of bad feelings that could possibly lead to a panic attack. But I am not facing that scenario – BDL is. And as my shrink would surely ask me if I had the presence of mind to get the counseling I so clearly need: “how does that make you feel?”

The ugly, small, petty rotten truth is: happy.

There.

I admit it.

It makes me happy that someone who has for decades delighted in creating misery for others is now miserable.  This is something different from the merely observational sin of Schadenfreude which goes even further to include creating the misery itself and then delighting in it.  For this offense we will hereby coin the term “SadoSchadenfreude,” all rights reserved thank you very much.

BDL is not only a SadoSchadenfreudian (SadoSchadenfreudist?), but also one who along with Glenn Beck practices Morose Delectation on a regular basis, which is the habit of dwelling with enjoyment on evil thoughts. It troubles me that I share any characteristic with BDL besides the fact that we are both (allegedly) carbon-based life forms, but apparently I do. I’d like to be more like a Buddhist experiencing “Mudita,” which is the opposite of Schadenfreude and means celebrating in the happiness of another. On second thought, I do that – a lot. So I guess I’ve got my darkness and light, my yin and my yang, my devil on the shoulder/angel on the shoulder just like a lot of other people.

The Book of Proverbs mentions an emotion similar to that now described by the word Schadenfreude: "Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, and let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleth: Lest the LORD see it, and it displease him, and he turn away his wrath from him." (Proverbs 24:17–18, King James Version).

So I guess if I asked myself WWJOAOCFTMF (What Would Jesus Or Any Other Christian For That Matter Feel?) at worst perhaps I could just feel some sort of benign ambivalence when I hear that someone really awful is suffering. And so I add yet another goal for myself for 2010: do not delight in the misfortune of another just because they may be a monumental and unmitigated asshole.

Readers (both of you!), I would be so grateful for your comments if you would like to share any of your experiences with Schadenfreude, which really should be included in the list of emotions along with sadness, joy, anger, need for compliments on new jeans, etc.

Confessionally yours,

RD